I really thought the Melon was going to arrive last night.
I experienced a new and uncomfortable sensation in my lower abdomen which felt a lot like period pain – it was that dull ache you get around the time of the month that sort of grows until you go “ohhhh god that hurts” and then disappears like it’s smugly satisfied it was able to torture you slightly.
Anyway this one was short lived and I didn’t have another experience like it for several hours… Nevertheless I went to bed wondering if the newly acquired lower backache (also dull) was a further sign of progress.
This morning I’ve had a lovely bout of diarrhoea so I figure yesterday’s mystery contractions were, in fact, a slight dose of food poisoning. Brilliant.
In other, marginally related, news I also have a pile. It’s awful. It actually hurts! I don’t think it’s very big (naturally I can’t see down there anymore) but it’s annoying and I’d very much like it gone.
Especially as I know “straining” makes them worse and in the coming days I very much intend to have some form if downward strain going on – for the Melon, as explained above I currently have no need for straining in the stool department.
Oh the glamorous joys of pregnancy.
Let’s round up my favourite symptoms so far:
10. Unnecessary epic weight gain on bum and thighs (necessitating purchase of embarrassing size 20 Primark knickers)
9. All day nausea and sickness
8. Tiredness so severe it’s like narcolepsy
7. Sore boobs and nipples
6. Costochronditis – excruciating inflammation of the ribs exacerbated by the Melon’s ninja practice
5. Weird mini skin tags appearing sporadically all over my body especially around the nipples
4. More or less constant round of diarrhoea, constipation and vomiting
3. Unsightly Melasma (sun spots/pigmentation) all over face
2. The return of the Bartholin Cyst
Yep, of all the horrendous things that have befallen my poor body since the Melon was conceived it’s piles that I hate the most.
All that being said, since the Melon has dropped slightly (she’s now banging her tiny head against my pelvis) pregnancy has become more comfortable and I could almost say I’m enjoying it.
I love the shape of the bump, watching her move around and kick inside, the way Chuck sings to her, the fact that we’re closer as a couple because of her, the time to do some of my own projects before she arrives, the lovely people I’ve met at NCT and in the neighbourhood… There’s plenty of positives.
I’m just so excited for the birth now though!!! I want to feel proper contractions now not the intimate stirrings of an upset gut!
Come on Melon!!