Pregnancy week 19 – loving it


Ok, I protested and protested. I hated this pregnancy lark for the best part of five months but now I’ve finally grown to love it.

I’m proud of the bump. I love the feeling of the Grapefruit fluttering about inside me like a butterfly or a Mexican Jumping Bean. You almost feel like you’ve imagined it but it’s there – soft and subtle.

I’m not denying the first few months were as horrible as I said they were and I still could do with a bit more energy, a few less trips to the loos, firmer poo, slimmer thighs and an uninterupted night’s sleep occasionally but all in all, it’s OK. Some might even say “good”.

Feeling the love

Probably the reason for all this love is that it’s Valentine’s Day and Chuck woke me up with a tray of toast, hot chocolate and fresh flowers. Bless him. I was so surprised.

We spent a fantastic weekend together – friends over for dinner, entertained my cousin and her daughter, walks in the park, Got to Dance marathon, waffles and homemade chocolate sauce, and amongst all this weekend-long love-in we even managed to have a very mature and adult chat about things that frustrate us – like proper grown ups!

Pregnancy does funny things to your hormones so I had to lay it on the line – things that wouldn’t have upset me before I’m now taking very personally but Chuck is really good at taking it all in and adapting to my mentalness. And I’m trying harder to keep the emotions in check and realise when I’m being overly sensitive, ridiculous or unreasonable.

It made me feel really happy and secure. We’re both really excited about becoming parents together. Apparently the baby can detect all my emotions and knows what’s going on otuside so we have to make sure we’re including it and making sure we’re looking forward to it’s arrival. Rows and tears would be bad at this stage so it’s amazing to have a lovely, understanding and supporting husband by my side. Sorry… I meant to say you need a bucket to read this post.

We both sing to the bump and talk to it. Honestly this feels a bit ridiculous but just in case this turns out to be true, I figure we may as well try.

Bringing sexy back

What’s really nice is that Chuck is saying all the right things about how sexy I am. In actual fact my lower half is like one of those cartoon Hippo ballerinas in Fantastia and but fortunately I’ve turned into Kelly Brook on top. Bonus. I think it’s important to feel good about yourself.

I suffered a huge loss of self-esteem at the beginning of my pregnancy. 3-inches of mousey-brown roots in my faded highlights; spotty, sallow, pale skin; unneccessarily massive weight gain on bum and thighs; and not a stitch of clothing that fitted comfortably or made me feel womanly – none of that helped!

I went to Karine Jackson Hair & Beauty in London for organic hair colour turning me safely back into a brunette and Chuck pronounced that he fancied me more as a brunette anyway. Result. I felt sexier and more myself too. Highlights are too high maintenance for me now.

Discovering Yoga Pants from American Apparel was also a turning point, as was the Parisian maternity top purchases. I feel elegant and like a proper yummy mummy now! I’m back to myself.

And I even wear make-up again! I felt too rubbish to bother for the first three-months.

It’s like I’ve been Gok’d and I’ve remembered how to look good – naked or not. I feel beautiful.

Yep, it’s safe to safe I am feeling the love this week.

Sorry this post was a bit on the pukey side wasn’t it. I should have started with a warning not to read it if you’re in your first trimester or you’ve recently eaten 😉

GrapefuitThe grapefruit

Length – 15cm
Weight – 240g

Backache is normal at this stage cause the baby is on a gorwth spurting mission. It’s also getting covered with this stuff called Vernix – apparently it’s to help lube it up for delivery and protect it from excessive moisture? It’s developing it’s ten toes and exercising about six hours a day – usually when I’m sleeping. It’s still downing amniotic fluid and digestion is kicking in.

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