Pregnancy week 11 – denials and admissions

Keeping my pregnancy a secret has been one of the worst things about these past eleven weeks (six weeks really – the first two I wasn’t even pregnant obviously, and the  following two were still fun because I didn’t know I was pregnant).

I went to France for a meeting and it was the Christmas party. I had wanted to tell my bosses in person but I soon realised I’d been pipped to the post by my bosses in the UK.

Everyone already knew! I wish I’d known that before I’d finished my tiny glass of “throw them off the scent” white wine.

I was really upset about it, truth be told. In my hormonal state, I had a little cry. Even so, I don’t think anyone should tell anyone else about your pregnancy, it’s something very personal and you should be left to tell people as you want.

My new boss emailed to say she thought as I’d told her, I was comfortable with everyone knowing. But when I told her, I said that it was still very early and I didn’t want everyone to know until I was twelve weeks. I guess she forgot. She didn’t even apologise though! Bit rude.

Anyway I didn’t go to the Christmas party, I went to dinner with my in laws at my husband’s uncle and aunts house.

Chuck and I told them our news because we wanted to do it face to face and family is a bit different from random work colleagues and superiors. We tucked into cake and tea, and it was lovely evening…

…until I tried a piece of my mother in laws’ homemade milk tart. I took a mouthful and realised it was curdled and the milk was off.

I excused myself discreetly, hurried to the loo and for the first time in my pregnancy threw up and up and up.

Chuck arrived a few minutes later to check on me. The others had realised the tart was off and he came straight to see if I was OK. I felt really bad for my mother-in-law, she didn’t mean to give me gone off tart and I didn’t want to make her feel guilty but I was terrified (again). This time I was convinced I’d poisoned myself. I thought I’d given myself listeria.

The next day we saw friends and family and everyone was thrilled to hear our news.

I felt OK but in the afternoon I had a bout of diarrhea and went straight to the spare room to have a lie down. Really I went straight on the internet to check for symptoms and see whether I’d genuinely got food poisoning.

I cried. Chuck came to check on me again – poor boy hardly gets to see his friends and here I was ruining his time by being all preoccupied and rubbish. Self pity featured quite highly in my list of symptoms for the first trimester.

I had a nap then tried to put a brave face on and spend some time with our mates but my heart wasn’t in it. I just wanted to get home and go to hospital… ridiculous!

Later on I felt better and I found a report on the internet that said pregnant women often experience bouts of diarrhea in pregnancy and that’s totally normal. I felt slightly mollified.

It’s hard to tell if you actually have food poisoning when you feel sick all the time and diarrhea is a “normal” part of pregnancy.

The fig

Length – 4cm
Weight – 7g

It’s blood starts circulating, and the placenta begins forming. It has everything it needs in terms of skeleton, organs and muscle so now it just has to grow and learn to work all it’s new equipment.

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